


A Rose Is Still a Rose

by EAS1928



Category: Political RPF - US 21st c., Real Person Fiction
Genre: F/M, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2019-11-16 00:21:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18083774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EAS1928/pseuds/EAS1928
Summary: Hillary rationalizes the reason for her difficult marriage is her fault and tries to fix it to no avail. She has to realize that what is happening is not her fault and no matter how broken she may feel a rose is still a rose.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am putting a trigger warning on this fic for some depictions of domestic violence. Read at your own risk.

“You can’t do anything right!” he yelled before grabbing the plate and throwing it to the floor. The china shattered, covering the ceramic tile with little shards that were destined to be lodged in someone’s foot at a later date.

“You said you wanted…” his sudden movement cut off her statement. He lunged for her and pulled her tightly against him.

“I said I wanted a medium rare steak, not a piece of shoe leather” his eyes were dark, and angry the alcohol on his breath not going unnoticed by her, spittle collected in the corner of his mouth. He pushed her away from him and turned back to the table, surveying the broken dishes. “Look what you made me do. You are such a failure. I don’t even know why I married you. My mother warned me” suddenly he turned back to her, a backhand going quickly across her face, knocking her back into the arch of the door. He advanced on her and she didn’t put up a fight knowing it would anger him more and make this worse than it had to be.

<><><><><><> 

“I thought Hillary was coming over tonight?” Tony stated as he walked into his parents living room carrying a tray of drinks.

“Something about a case” Hugh Rodham grumbled, the patriarch of the family. Tony and Hugh Jr. looked at each other. They were concerned about their sister. She had started to become more withdrawn from the family. They had no clue what was going on, but both silently vowed to speak with her.

<><><><><><><> 

Hillary sat unmoving staring at herself in the mirror. She gingerly dabbed at her split lip, the sting causing her to wince. She was on autopilot, this had gone on so long she no longer was shocked and instead buried her emotions deep inside, there was no use crying about it.

She cleaned her cuts and then applied her makeup to cover up the bruises. This was something that she’d mastered. The sigh that escaped her lips shook with a repressed sob. She rationalized that he would get better she could make him better. Once she got pregnant it would all change. As a lawyer she’d heard these same excuses from some of her clients, but Hillary convinced herself that she could turn this around if she just worked harder.

She finished up her makeup and slowly walked to her closet. Her back a canvas of black and blue bruises where he’d slammed her into the wall multiple times. She dressed and stood in the mirror, pulling on her professional, put together face. It was just one more day she had to pretend she surmised then things would improve. Just one more day she said over and over.

Hillary went to the kitchen before she left. She took her phone out and took pictures of the notes that were left for her, what he wanted to eat for dinner, what he wanted her to take care of in the house, phone calls she had to make. He wanted chicken Parmesan tonight. Her heart thudded in her chest, she hadn’t the faintest clue how to make that recipe and he would want it just like his mother made. She swallowed the lump in her throat. She’d have to do some research there was no way she was calling his mother, she’d learned her lesson the last time she made that mistake.

<><><><><><><><> 

Hillary had her face buried into her computer trying to figure out the recipe for chicken Parmesan. She looked up startled when she heard someone clear their throat.

“Tony what are you doing here!” she stood and went to her brother. He hugged her tightly, pain lanced through her body. She broke the embrace. He noticed she wouldn’t look him in the eyes.

“What’s going on Hill?” she shook her head and went back around to her desk, needing the barrier between her and her brother.

“Nothing, what do you mean?” Tony was well aware this was not going to be easy and she was going to use all her mental blocks to keep him out.

“You’ve been very distant. You have missed the last three family dinners, what gives?”

“Oh that” she waved her hand trying to appear nonchalant. “I’ve just been swamped at work and Sundays have really been my only free day. I do like to spend time with my husband” he wasn’t convinced of the excuse.

“He’s always been invited” Tony stared at her waiting for her next avoidance tactic.

“I know, but we don’t necessarily want to spend one of the only free days we have together with my family” she scoffed trying to bring some levity to a situation that had none.

“Hillary just remember that no matter what it is you can talk to me, and to Hugh. And we would really love to see you at dinner, it’s just not the same without you” Tony stood and walked around the desk, he dropped a kiss on her forehead. “I love you” he said softly.

“I love you too and please don’t worry about me. Just give me sometime once work gets better things will return to normal” she forced a smile onto her face and neither occupant of the office was convinced, but Tony decided to leave it as it was for now. He bid her goodbye and as soon as he left she fell heavily back into her chair. The sobs she’d been holding in burst forth, her lip quivered, and nose flared with her efforts to keep her emotions in check. Hillary closed her eyes and mentally counted to ten she had to pull herself together, having a pity party was not going to fix anything. And she had to figure out how to make this meal. It was important for her to make him happy somehow and to stop being a failure.

“Whatever happens to me is my own fault. It’s time I stopped being just about myself and make an effort in my marriage” she softly stated. She couldn’t just admit that he was a bad person, and much like she often did she put the entire blame on herself. This was a mess she created and it was a mess she and she alone was responsible for cleaning up, starting with tonight and making him the best meal he’d ever had.


	2. Chapter 2

Hillary called into work the last three days. After her last encounter with her husband even she wasn’t able to cover up the bruises. He’d been particularly drunk and particularly brutal when he came home from work that day. The dinner she’d made, which she was sure was perfect was of course not up to his standards. He’d thrown hot food at her, missing her face by inches. She surmised that an ER visit was probably needed, but she didn’t want to cause problems for anyone.

She sat with an ice pack to her face. That was how she’d spent the last three days, trying so hard to get the bruising and swelling down so she could return to work. She sighed when she heard her cell ring. From the set tone she knew it was her mother. Hillary braced herself before she answered.

“Hey mom” she tried to sound cheerful. Dorothy wasn’t convinced she’d called her daughter’s office and was told she’d been off for three days.

 _“I called the office they told me you were out sick. Why didn’t you call and let me know?”_ guilt washed over Hillary when she heard the concern in her mothers voice.

“It’s nothing serious” Dorothy was silent momentarily mulling over her words. She was worried about her daughter. What was going on she couldn’t figure out but there was something not right.

 _“I’d love to see you at dinner on Sunday”_ her tone made it clear that she expected to see her at dinner on Sunday. Dorothy made it a habit to not go to Hillary’s house. She never felt quite welcome, not because of her daughter, but her husband. His apparent dislike of the family bothered Dorothy and recently she felt like that was the reason Hillary was distant.

“I don’t want others to get sick so I’ll….”

 _“You aren’t contagious anymore and by Sunday you’ll probably be completely better. If you aren’t then you should be going to see a doctor”_ she was certainly between a rock and a hard place now, but truth be told she did want to see her family.

“I’ll see you on Sunday mom” she stated simply. They chatted for a few minutes more, with each passing minute making Hillary more nervous than the next. How was she going to explain this after she’d been told in no uncertain terms that she was not to go back to that dinner.

<><><><><><><><> 

“My mom wants to see me, and you’re invited too” he sat unmoving staring at the newspaper. Her heart thudded in her chest this was the calm before the storm.

“I’ve never been invited, and don’t you try to pretend otherwise” his words were deathly still. He blew out a breath before folding the newspaper and setting it in his lap. “Go Hillary do what you want” she was stunned by his words. She nodded quietly. “But don’t come home” he stood and left the room. Hillary swallowed the lump in her throat. She was scared and confused. She inhaled deeply trying to calm her thudding heart. Her family was her family and she wanted to see them. She could do this, she would do this.

When Sunday arrived, she was anxious but not in the dreading the day way she’d been for most of the last two years. She was excited to see her family, to have a chance to relax even if things would probably be bad when she got home. Although dinner wasn’t for several more hours she decided to get dressed and head over to her parent’s house. He was gone, and she didn’t want to be there when he came back least he decide to start a fight and prevent her from going.

As she drove the short distance she berated herself mentally for not getting up early enough to attend church with them. She swallowed down the loathing that she’d felt for herself often and the feeling that she could never do anything right. Today was a happy day and she was going to make the most of it.

When she arrived at her parent’s house no one was home but them, her brothers had gone back to their own house after church and would be by later. Hillary’s mom was in the kitchen getting everything prepared, her father in the den watching football as he usually did.

“Mom, dad!” she called out upon entering the house.

“Hillary is that you!” her mother yelled as she came out of the kitchen. Dorothy smiled brightly she was skeptical that her only daughter and oldest child would actually show up. She’d been so distant lately and it was no doubt it was probably due to her husband.

“Mom!” she exclaimed as they hugged tightly. Hillary went to the den to greet her father who in his own gruff way was happy to see her. After sitting with him momentarily she went into the kitchen and chatted with her mom while she prepared dinner. Dorothy wouldn’t let her lift a finger, but she wanted to hear about what Hillary had been up to. She mentally filed away that Hillary hadn’t mentioned one word about her husband.

Tony and Hugh were ecstatic when they saw Hillary’s car parked outside and even happier when they realized she was alone. They both watched her carefully and while they couldn’t put their finger on it something was off, but for now they’d just enjoy having her with them.

The family moved to the dining room, there was lively chatter as dinner was served. Hillary looked around, with a smile on her face, a genuine smile that reached her eyes. She was so happy to be with them and she vowed to make sure that it wouldn’t be a long time before she was with them again. As everyone ate the doorbell rang. Her stomach knotted, her appetite lost. Hugh Jr. stood from the table.

“I’ll get it” he left the room. Hillary felt like everything was moving in slow motion.

“Are you ok?” Dorothy asked noticing her daughter’s sudden pallor. All she could manage was a faint nod as the terror took over her. Hugh Jr. returned, his face unreadable, Dorothy looked up in surprise, Hillary was scared to look up. When she finally did, it was worse than she could have ever imagined.

“Bill” she whispered.


	3. Chapter 3

“Bill, we didn’t know you were in town” he sat in the only seat available the one across from Hillary. 

“Yes, I got in yesterday. I ran into Hugh and he invited me over today. I’m sorry for intruding on your family dinner.”

“Nonsense you are family, always have been always will be” Dorothy stated beaming at him. “Tell us about your travels William” he cut his eyes at Hillary before looking at Dorothy. 

“You know its work. Traveling for work isn’t as glamorous as people would expect, but I like what I do and I’m fulfilled. He left it at that. 

“When are you going to settle down and start a family?” Dorothy asked curiously. Hillary felt her heartbeat speed up. 

“I’m working on it” he said mysteriously and smirked. 

“Dorothy stop interrogating the man” she wanted to protest but decided to let it go. 

“Bill how long are you in town?” Tony chimed in. 

“For a few days actually. I’ve been working nearly non-stop for two weeks and I need to give the old body a rest.” 

“Where does your next trip take you?” they were all curious about his life as a pilot. Bill  for his part was happy with his job, but didn’t find it as exciting as they did. 

“Australia actually” Hillary’s ears perked up. She’d always wanted to go. “Probably my least favorite route. Don’t get me wrong I love the country, but that flight is brutal.” 

The remainder of the dinner went by with mindless chit chat. Both Bill and Hillary did their best not to look at each other or engage the other. 

“It is absolutely coming down out there” Hugh came back in from cleaning off his car. In the midst of having dinner the snow started. “We are going to get going before it gets worse” he kissed his mom and said his goodbyes. Tony and his family left next. The brothers lived close and didn’t have far to drive. 

“I better get going too” Hillary stood up.

“Sweetie you have further to go you should stay here tonight” as much as she wanted to do that, as much as she wanted to stay with them forever, she couldn’t. Bill stood silently watching her, her facial expression, her body language. 

“How is Daniel by the way?” he asked trying to sound like he really cared about her husband and how he was doing. She was thrown off guard by the question.

“Fine, he’s fine why do you ask?” 

“No reason just that you didn’t mention him at all during dinner and well he obviously isn’t here.”

“He’s busy William” she was irritated with him and she didn’t try to hide it. He just smiled tightly at her. “Anyway, I’m leaving” she huffed, annoyed that she let him get to her. 

“Darling, I really think you should stay here. You have a thirty-minute drive on a clear day and the roads are messy.

“Mom I can’t stay. I have work in the morning, I didn’t bring anything to wear. I just can’t stay.”

“With the way the snow is coming down you may not have work tomorrow” Dorothy tried to reason with her. 

“I always have work, as it is, I’m leaving. I cannot stay I’m sorry” she felt regret, no matter what she did she was always going to disappoint someone. 

“I took a Lyft here, I’ll ride with you then get a Lyft to my hotel” Bill chimed in, and he could see from Dorothy’s face she thought that was an acceptable compromise.

“Because I’m a damsel in distress and I need a strong man to make sure I get home? I don’t think so” she bit out sarcastically. Hillary walked out of the room and grabbed her coat. She took a few deep breaths before coming back and hugging her mom. “I know you mean well, but I’m fine” she didn’t acknowledge Bill as she turned and left the house, leaving a confused Dorothy and determined Bill behind. She was not the same Hillary he knew, there was something seriously wrong and he would find out what it was. 

<><><><><><>

Hillary made it home after over an hour of driving no more than fifteen miles per hour. She was tense and exhausted when she finally made into her home. It wasn’t even nine-thirty but she crept into the dark silent house. Daniel was probably passed out somewhere, or so she hoped. When she walked into the living room, there he was on the sofa. Passed out in only his boxers and an undershirt, with the tv on and several empty cans of beer surrounding him, a half drunken bottle of whiskey sat forgotten on the floor. 

He’d most certainly started drinking with the guys after work and continued once he got home. She’d rationalized his behavior as being due to his sickness and once she was able to get him into rehab that things would be so much better. Hillary never acknowledged that he was abusive long before the drinking took ahold of him, that he was abusive before she ever decided to marry him. Back then the abuse amounted to mostly emotional abuse and threats of physical violence, but he’d slapped her on multiple occasions before she ever said “I do”. 

Hillary sat about cleaning up the mess Daniel made before she turned off the tv and walked quietly into the bedroom. She wanted to be a good wife and wake him up, help him to bed, but she just prayed he slept all night so that she could get a good night sleep, without being in pain. When she reached her bedroom, she sat on the side of the bed and thought about the events of the night. Never in a million years did she expect to see Bill, looking as handsome as ever. She shook her head and silently berated herself for those thoughts.  Hillary chewed her bottom lip thinking about what could have been had she not been afraid. 

They were in love once, but that love scared her. It burned as hot as a thousand suns, it consumed her, it consumed them. Bill was a year older than her, but they’d been friends for ages. He was close to her brothers although older than them. What started out as just a family friend blossomed into more during their junior and senior year of high school respectively. His family moved from Arkansas to Illinois so that his step-father could work a factory job. He was a fish out of water in the big city, but his charm drew people to him, including Hillary. He went off to Georgetown and she to Wellesley. After he finished Georgetown, he spent time in England as a Rhoades Scholar before the two of them met up at Yale.  

Hillary was studying law and Bill was studying an advanced degree in aero nautical engineering. He’d decided on a career as a commercial pilot. It wasn’t until both their last years that she decided to break things off. Hillary wanted to go back to Illinois and practice family law, Bill wanted to go all over the world and be a pilot. She was prepared to follow him to the ends of the earth and that thought stopped her in her tracks. That was not her, and she would not be led around by a man. She abruptly ended their relationship right before graduation. 

Bill for his part was devastated. She was the love of his life. They’d been each other's first love and he was sure that they’d spend eternity together, but it was not to be.  He spent months trying to convince her that they could work out their relationship, but it was to no avail. Once she made up her mind that was final. She started practicing in Chicago, he moved to New York and was soon working his way up the ranks at Delta as a pilot, but they were never far from the other’s mind. 

Hillary met and married Daniel, a CPA. She thought that her life would be settled, normal and that she had met the perfect opposite of Bill, but she was right in the most disastrous way. Her life was anything but normal and settled. Daniel had a temper, and he blamed Hillary for anything in his life that did not go to plan. He was insanely jealous of her success as his own career floundered and he never lived up to his potential. During the first year of their marriage he began to drink heavily. The drinking along with the resentment he felt for his wife escalated his cruelty and abuse, but Hillary having walked away from Bill vowed to never walk away from another tough situation. She would fix him, and they would be happy. Bill was the past and once he was off to his next adventure she’d be left with her life and she’d be a distant memory to him. He was after all working on settling down. Hillary released a slow breath, trying to get her mind off of him. It was no use he was the past Daniel was her present and future. 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is depiction of domestic violence. Trigger Warning

He couldn’t get her out of his mind. It wasn’t that she was beautiful, because she certainly was. It was the loss of that sparkle that used to inhabit her blue eyes. As far as he knew she was living the life she always wanted to live. Bill was confused about why she was so angry with him. If anything, he should be the one angry, she was the one that broke his heart, but he held no grudges. He still loved her, would always love her. He sighed, he had to get Hillary out of his head. He wasn’t getting any younger and it was time he settled down and started a family of his own. There was no use thinking about the past. Even though he tried to convince himself of these truths, he still couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong, that things were not as she would want people to believe. Again, he fought with himself.  It was not his business; she was no longer his concern and he would let her continue to live her life as she saw fit.

Bill stood from the chair he’d been sitting in and decided to stretch his legs and go for a walk. He’d been cooped up in his hotel all day. This was not how he really imagined spending his vacation. Truth be told he didn’t know why he came back to Chicago in the middle of winter. He should be spending his vacation somewhere warm, with a beautiful woman on his arm. He sighed at the thought. He dated, casually, but was never able to throw himself into anything serious.

He bundled himself up to try to stave off the biting cold and exited the hotel. Although it was colder than a witch's titty in a steel bra out, he instantly felt better. He inhaled deeply letting the crisp air fill his lungs, before slowly letting it escape the warmth of his breath against the cold atmosphere causing a whirl of steam to appear.

Bill had no particular destination in mind. He wasn’t necessarily running from his hotel he was running from something or more truthfully someone and he needed a distraction he couldn’t get inside the room. It wasn’t long before his long strides took him several blocks away and his attempts to remain any semblance of warm took his thoughts from Hillary. Bill rounded a corner at full speed and nearly collided with someone. He side stepped just in time.

“I am so sorry, should have been watching where I was going” the man looked up into Bill’s eyes and squinted, but didn’t say anything. Bill nodded his head and moved around him to continue on his way thinking the encounter odd.

Daniel turned and watched the taller man continue on his journey. As soon as he looked into his eyes, he knew who he was. Bill Clinton, his wife’s first and in his heart, he knew her only love. He bit his bottom lip hard as his nose flared. Now things were making since, Bill Clinton was back in town. He clenched his fist tightly. If she thought she was going to make a fool of him, she had another thing coming.

<><><><><> 

She walked into the house. Today had been a particularly difficult day and she was exhausted. She was relieved when Daniel said he was going to hang out with some friends, but that relief was short lived when she walked into the house and he sat on the sofa. A nearly empty bottle of whiskey was on the coffee table.

“Hey honey” she tried to sound cheery. He turned his glass eyed gaze from the TV. Hillary held her breath and approached him, leaning down to kiss his cheek. He grabbed her hair as she made move to stand upright. She yelped at the pain.

“Do you think I’m a fucking idiot?” he spat at her. She shook her head no her eyes laced with fear, her heart thudding in her chest. “I saw him. Now I know why you wanted to get over to your parents. Are you fucking him?” he pulled her hair tighter.

“No, no I don’t know what” he released her hair and pushed her away but before she could react he slapped her across the face sending her to the floor.

“Don’t you fucking lie to me” Daniel stood over her prone body. He reached down and pulled her up by her hair, she was terrified that he was going to scalp her. Hillary tried to wiggle away, but he was too strong. He grabbed her by the neck and began to squeeze. She was sure this was it, he was finally going to kill her. Daniel slammed her head into the wall repeatedly. Hillary didn’t fight back, she wanted this to be over and if it took her death then so be it. The room began to go black from the lack of oxygen and the repeated blows to her head. Just as she was loosing consciousness he let her go. Her broken body fell to the floor. She thought it was over until he kicked her in the stomach over and over until she was coughing up blood. “See him again and I’ll kill you both” he said leaning down next to her face.

Daniel stumbled to his feet leaving her laying on the living room floor as he walked into their bedroom. She couldn’t move, she was sure that he’d broken bones yet again. She had to get to the doctor, but first she had to think of another excuse.

<><><><><><><> 

3 Days Later

Bill finally worked up the nerve to go to Hillary’s job. He needed to see her. What he thought was going to happen he wasn’t sure, but maybe if he saw her one more time it would put his worries aside. Bill walked steadfastly into the tall glassed building on Michigan Avenue. He looked at the building directory and saw that Rose law was on the fifteenth floor. His heart thudded in his chest as he rode the elevator up. Once he arrived he quickly found the suite and entered, a receptionist greeted him.

“I’m here to see Hillary….” he paused realizing he wasn’t sure if she was still using her madam name.

“Hillary Donaldson?” he frowned slightly. That name didn’t flow right, if anything it should be Hillary Clinton. “Sir?”

“Yes, I’m here to see her” he said unable to say that mans last name. The receptionist looked at her computer.

“Do you have an appointment?”

“No, I’m an old friend. You know what it’s fine I don’t want to bother her I know she’s busy” he was about leave when he heard his name.

“Bill what are you doing here?” Hillary stood in the reception area after ushering one of her clients out. She certainly didn’t expect to see Bill.

“I just came to……” he took a deep breath. “I just wanted to see you” she cut her eyes at the receptionist who was watching them intently.

“Wendy, when is my next appointment?”

“Not till two” Hillary nodded.

“We can talk in my office” Bill silently followed her, taking note of the way she was walking as if something was hurting. She kept tugging at her turtleneck and he made note of that. “You can’t be here William” she turned abruptly once they were in her office. Her voice shook with what could only be described as terror.

“Why Hilly?” her breath caught in her throat. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t….I didn’t mean that” his apology did nothing to sooth her, was she no longer his Hilly? “Are you ok?” he decided to rip the band aid off. She balked at his question.

“Why wouldn’t I be? You still haven’t explained why you are here?”

“I don’t get you. You ended things with me and yet you seem angry with me all the time. I should be the one that’s angry” she blinked the tears back. She wasn’t angry with him, she was angry with herself, but there was no way he was going to know that. “I came here because I was worried about you.”

“As you can see I am fine.”

“Are you?” he raised an eyebrow.

“You can’t be here, so I need you to leave” her voice was small. He scrunched up his face.

“What is going on with you?” she chewed the inside of her lip.

“There is nothing for us to talk about. What we had is very much in the past. We aren’t friends and I don’t need you to check in on me. I am fine. So please leave” he stared at her momentarily before nodding and turning to leave. Once he was gone she sagged against her desk feeling empty. She’d pushed him away and he he’d left yet again. If this was what she wanted why did she feel so alone.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tides are slowly turning.

Hillary walked quietly next to her mother as she pushed a shopping cart through the grocery store. Her car was at the mechanics and Hugh was using his. She needed to pick up food for their Sunday dinner. The dinner that Hillary had started to miss again.

“Can I expect you on Sunday?” she tried to sound nonchalant as she reached over and picked out a pot roast. Hillary sighed quietly. The battle raging inside of her yet again.

“I have no clue mom, you know how things are” Dorothy stood and looked at her oldest child and only daughter.

“Actually, I don’t know how things are, why don’t you tell me” she stared at her pointedly. The stare that always made Hillary uncomfortable.

“I’m just so swamped. I’ll probably spend Sunday working.”

“You could spend Sunday at church and dinner with your family” this time Dorothy decided not to hide her annoyance. “Just because Daniel isn’t a Methodist, doesn’t mean you should abandon your faith” it was unlike Dorothy to be so direct, but she was exhausted with Hillary of late.

“I just can’t mom” she left it at that.

“It’s all the same. I’m cooking a special dinner for William and I know how you detest the man. He’s leaving back out soon, going to be away for who knows how long” her heart fell into her feet.

“I don’t detest him mom” she spoke up quickly. Dorothy waved off her protest and continued down the aisle. Hillary stood rooted in place thinking about him leaving, again.

<><><><><> 

Sunday

She sat staring out the window of her home, staring at nothing in particular. Her heart was breaking, it was past eleven and she was certain he was gone or preparing to leave. She dropped her head, closing her eyes trying to not think about him and everything they could have been.

Tonight, was a good night, Daniel was sober, they’d gone out to dinner and made love when they got home. She was hopeful this time she’d get pregnant. She was hopeful every time that she’d get pregnant. Hillary knew better, and when her period showed up he’d be enraged and call her a failure.

It wasn’t her that was the failure. It was him, but she’d certainly never tell him that. After a year of trying with no luck, Hillary had gone to be checked out. She’d assumed she was the cause of them not having children, but after a thorough exam she was deemed healthy so the only thing she could surmise was that Daniel was the cause. With his excessive drinking, Hillary wasn’t that shocked.

Although she wouldn’t dare tell him what she suspected. She shuddered at the thought of what would happen. Although her not being pregnant caused him to act all the same.

She turned and stared at her phone, tempted to call her mom but she knew she was asleep. She was near desperation in wanting to see Bill, to say so many things that needed to be said, but she wasn’t going to open that Pandora’s box, it would only lead to more heartache for everyone involved. Hillary pulled herself away from the window and decided to join her husband in bed. When she slipped into bed he was already sleep. Hillary lay on her side facing the wall and despite the relatively good night they’d had she couldn’t stop the tears from coming.

<><><><><><><> 

Monday Morning

He’d packed his bag the night before. Bill felt stupid. He’d come back to Chicago for Hillary and it was clear she still hated him as much as she did when she broke things off. He’d convinced himself that it wasn’t him and that it was the situation they found themselves in, but it was obvious now that it was him. She certainly wasn’t pathetic like he was, carrying around a torch. The fact that he thought that she was, considering she was for what he knew happily married was idiotic he thought.

<><><><><><><> 

When her period showed up a few days after she’d been with Daniel, she was aware it was another month of disappointment. Hillary tried to hide it from him as long as possible, but when he eventually found out he went berserk. She hadn’t realized that he kept track of her tampons and when they started to disappear, he confronted her.  She initially tried to deny it, but that only served to make his anger that much more intense.

As had been the case lately, he choked her until she nearly lost consciousness. Hillary recognized that this was an escalation in his pattern of abuse, but she’d still convinced herself she could fix things. How? She wasn’t sure yet, but rationally she understood that if she did have a baby he wouldn’t change and a child had no business being in the middle of their marriage. Yet she continued to pray that she could get pregnant and maybe just maybe things would get better.

“As you all have probably heard through the grapevine, we are looking to expand our practice globally” the head of the firm voice brought Hillary’s thoughts back to the present. “Over the past eighteen months all the partners have feverishly worked to make this a reality and now we are finally ready to proceed to the next step. We’ll be asking several of our top associates to travel to the firms that are set to be acquired. Get a lay of the land, and also help make the transition smoother. We are counting on all of you for this endeavor” Hillary was intrigued and hoped that maybe she would be picked to go. Although she wasn’t sure where, she thought it may be a good opportunity for her and Daniel to go on a much-needed vacation.

After the meeting Philip Braddock, one of the other partners asked to speak with Hillary. She was anxious. If he didn’t invite her to go to one of the other potential sites, she would be humiliated. Thankfully that wasn’t the case and he’d extended the offer to which she immediately accepted.

When she left work, she couldn’t wait to get home to talk to Daniel about this. It was the most excited she’d been in years. When she arrived home, he was already there and Hillary from experience knew that was not a good sign. It meant the day was slow, he didn’t have many clients or work and he’d be in a pissy mood. Still she was hopeful this news would cheer him up.

“Hey honey” she came over and kissed him on the cheek. He didn’t respond as he sat at the dining room table staring at his computer screen. Hillary sat next to him. “I have some great news” Daniel did not look at her.

“Have you stopped being an utter failure and finally gotten pregnant?” her breath caught at the hatred spewed her way.

“I’m...so sorry about that, but maybe we can see” he cut his eyes at her and she immediately shut up. Hillary took a deep breath and decided to start again. “The firm is looking to expand globally, and they’ve been in talks to acquire a few firms outside the country. To make a long story short I’ve been invited to go to Sydney and I thought maybe we could make a vacation of it” she grabbed his hand and held it between hers, with a smile on her face. Daniel snatched his hand from hers and stood abruptly.

“You were invited to go to Sydney what the fuck does that have to do with me?” she blinked rapidly trying to quell the fear.

“I would like for you to go” her voice now small and deflated.

“Do you even know how much a ticket to Sydney costs? We don’t have that kind of money and I don’t want some charity handout from your damn job!”

 Hillary wanted to say she had that kind of money, one thing she’d done was keep a separate account from his. Although she’d always tried to pretend things were ok, Hillary was aware from the beginning that it was not. That Daniel was jealous of her success and although he didn’t start hitting her until after they’d been married more than a year, there were warning signs long before that time. While she was determined to make their marriage work, it was always in the back of her mind that should she ever need to flee she had to maintain control of her own money. As such he wasn’t fully aware of how much money she actually mad and even the money she put into their joint account enraged him when compared to his own.

“It isn’t a handout honey. When they send us away, they always allow us to bring a spouse” she was lying, her job had offered no such thing, but she was trying to make things right, trying to make him happy.

“I’m not going, and neither are you and I don’t want to hear anything else about it! I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with you lately. You think that you can do whatever you want, defying me. Is it him?” she shook her head vigorously. He wasn’t convinced, but he was too tired to get into anything with her. “Tell your job tomorrow you can’t go.”

“What am I supposed to say? This was direct from a partner. I can’t just say no.”

“You can, and you will” he walked away the case was closed as far as he was concerned. Between now and in two weeks she was certain she’d make him angry in thirty different ways, what was one more. She wanted her marriage to work, but she also wanted her career just as badly. At least so far it had never left her battered and bruised.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not mean for it to be this long between updates. Hopefully I can get my act together and update more frequently.

Hillary defied her husband and paid the price. He’d been very violent for a long time but the last two weeks she thought on more than one occasion he was going to kill her. She’d had to go to the ER twice of course she didn’t dare go to the same hospital. Her mother wanted to see her before she left for Australia, but she’d had to decline. Hillary was trying her best to hide the bruises but after one particularly horrid encounter with him she had to work from home for the week.

Despite all that he’d done and all the anger he had she was not going to miss this opportunity to go to Australia. It had been a dream of theirs… she stopped her thought process not understanding why she was thinking of him. Hillary sighed he was all she’d thought about since he came waltzing back into her life and disappeared just as quickly. Hillary was so angry with him. She immediately shut those thoughts off. They were not helpful to anyone most of all her.

He sat in the corner eyeing her and her heart thudded in her chest. She prayed that he wouldn’t start anything with her. Her _Lyft_ was scheduled to arrive in ten minutes to take her to the airport. She saw his jaw ticking in anger and there was no doubt he was going to try to keep her there. Hillary’s stomach was twisted in knots. She stood up and grabbed her suitcase deciding to stand outside to wait for her ride. Daniel stood up with her, she could hear her heart thudding in her ears. She backed away from his approaching form and quickly grabbed her bags trying to move to the front door. He cut off her path.

“I need to wait outside” her voice pleaded.

“Didn’t I tell you that you weren’t going” his voice was low and sinister. Although she was terrified a part of Hillary was defiant. He would have to kill her to stop her from leaving the house that thought gave her pause.

“Daniel, I need to get by please don’t make this difficult” he gave her a hard stare before his hand suddenly reared back and he slapped her, his ring causing the sensitive skin on her face to open up and bleed profusely. Hillary grabbed her face her blue eyes wide in shock. He advanced on her and reached out for her. She recovered her senses and avoided him. Her cheek was thudding with pain as blood poured from the gash. She could feel it swelling and bruising. She heard the notification on her phone signaling that her _Lyft_ had arrived. Hillary snatched her suitcase and made a move for the door. Daniel reached out and grabbed her hair, yanking her neck back violently nearly causing her to fall completely backwards.

Hillary twisted herself away from his grasp and made it out of the door. She ran down the steps until she was at the curb. The driver had gotten out to help her with her luggage.

“Hillary? he asked concerned”

“Yes” she refused to turn around and look at Daniel who was now standing in the door she knew he was seething.

“Your face is bleeding” she just nodded before getting into the car. Once she was safely ensconced in the car, she dared to look at her husband who had now taken residence on their porch. Hillary silently prayed that the driver would hurry up before Daniel did something drastic. Finally, the driver got in.

“If you need time to go clean up your cut, I can wait for you?” the horrified look that greeted him gave immediate indication that going back into that house was the last thing she wanted. The driver looked momentarily at the house and saw Daniel standing there the anger coming off him was nearly visible. The driver looked back at Hillary before engaging the car door locks.

 

<><><><><><><><> 

After piloting seven consecutive round trip long haul flights, four he was scheduled for and three he volunteered to pilot for coworkers, Bill was relieved to get some rest. He preferred to have these rest days at home, but he was slated to pilot a flight back to Chicago in a week so this time his vacation had to take place on the road as it were.

Bill trudged into his hotel. He was bone tired. Normally he’d shower, change and head out, get dinner somewhere and see the sights. Not this time. The only thing he was interested in was the shower and then the bed.

He awoke several hours later confused about what time it was, where he was, and how long he’d been asleep. He sat up in bed and suddenly remembered that he was in Sydney. He sighed the time change wreaking havoc on his body. Bill swung his legs around and planted his feet on the floor. He looked at the clock it was only six in the evening. He could have sworn it was the next day. His stomach growled signaling he needed to get something to eat, after a cursory look at the room service menu he decided he would go out after all.

Bill dressed and headed out. He knew the hotel was in a busy section of Sydney and he was sure he’d be able to find a nice spot to eat. After entering the elevator, he preoccupied himself with his phone. He looked up when the elevator doors opened into the lobby of the hotel. He strode quickly towards the exit until a flash of gold streaked past his periphery. He turned abruptly not believing what he was seeing  

At just that time she turned and their eyes locked. Everything fell away, but the two of them. She stood unmoving staring back at his unmoving form. He was so attuned to her he could swear he could see her inhalations and expirations. His mind flashed to her treatment of him in Chicago and he looked away. The spell was broken. Bill turned and continued towards the exit of the hotel. She stood looking at his retreating form willing him to look back, but he never did. Her shoulders sagged and she leaned against a nearby chair for support. She’d let him walk away yet again.


End file.
